Love, intimacy, and romance may be different for most people this year. Due to travel restrictions and social distancing guidelines, even short distances have turned into LDRs (long-distance relationships). While some may be lucky enough to be together, still the usual celebrations may not be possible as in the past. It is a good thing that Filipinos are known to be resilient. Over the years, Filipino expressions of love and romance have evolved with cultural adaptations of the modern world, economic situations, societal trends. With Valentine’s Day fast approaching, let us take a loving look at Filipino romance over time and understand what they did for love.
As a line from a popular song reverberates in my mind, I am taken back to stories my grandmother told me on how women were swooned by bachelors with evening serenades. Done with an entire combo (band of musicians), the lovestruck hopeful serenades his ladylove who shyly looks from above, peeking through the windows.
Puno ang langit ng bituin
At kay lamig pa ng hangin
Sa’yong tingin akoy nababaliw giliw
At sa awitin kong ito
Sana’y maibigan mo
Ibubuhos ko ang buong puso ko
Sa isang munting harana para sa’yo
– uso pa ba ang harana, parokya ni edgar
Perhaps because homes hardly integrate wide open windows nowadays or high-rise communities have evolved for safety and convenience, harana is ancient. As times changed, this sincere gesture of love offering slowly faded into oblivion. Thankfully though, it has not gone extinct; only reinvented with time.
From the DIY serenade in the olden days, expressions of love channeled on to new dimensions. With the emergence of the powerful AM/FM transistor radio, love language penetrated the airwaves in the 70s and 80s. I recall how Joe D’ Mango’s Love Notes that aired with “Dear Joe…”, and radio stations like Mellowtouch playing romantic ballad requests became famous and well-loved by cupid’s targets.
While the Gen Zs and Generation Alpha may find this all-too-amusing and tacky, they are doing the same things in a different way. Virtually, that is. YouTube, Facebook, Viber, Whatsapp, IG, Twitter among others have all become channels to reach even the farthest object of love and affection. The younger ones nowadays sing their hearts out in cover songs perhaps meant for someone in particular but for all the world underneath the moonlight to see and hear ….
Sa ilalim ng puting ilaw
Sa dilaw na buwan
Pakinggan mo ang aking sigaw
Sa dilaw na buwan
– buwan, juan carlos
I don’t know about you but I am still in love with the art and craft of writing. True, MS Word has made life easier. But, I still love the smoothness of the paper, examine the spacing between lines, and carefully pen each cursive stroke especially when writing letters to special people.
Mister Postman look and see
(Oh, yeah) Is there a letter in your bag for me?
(Please, please, Mister Postman) I been waiting a long, long time
(Oh, yeah) Since I heard from that girl of mine
– The Marvelettes, The Carpenters, The Beatles
In the pre-Hispanic era, letters between soon-to-be-lovers were exchanged through a mediator who hand-carried the notes, often in secrecy. Then came the Pen Pal stage when love notes were sent through snail mail and good old Mr.Postman became every young lady’s best friend. Given the extensive scope of electronic mail and a plethora of social media channels, love letter sending is no longer mainstream. It is good to hope, however, that there remain romantic couples who find the extra effort more sincere and amorous and thus continue on with the tradition. (IKR, I am an old soul.)
When telephones invaded the world, love letters were sealed in a box and found their resting place under the bed or deep into the closet. From spending hours on finding the right words to write, partners shifted towards hours telling each other sweet nothings over the phone. My parents would often scold my lovestruck sisters then for burning telephone lines (telebabad in colloquial terms). Even without phones at home, all it took was a walk towards the corner grocery store and three 25 centavo coins to make a 3-minute call. Actually hearing someone say the three words in hushed modulated tones never failed to make the ladies blush and squirm with delight. Soon enough and sadly so, the iconic telephone booth with a bulky red coin-operated phone is nowhere in sight.
While I submit to the fact that communication has indeed become more convenient and immediate with technology, it amazes me that the advent of cellular phones led to a whole new level of courtship. Shortened words, jumbled letters, and an entirely new list of acronyms that made the writer in me cringe every time. In my time, the popular acronyms used on slum book dedications that sent love jitters to the spine where TCCIC (Take Care ‘Coz I Care), ITALY (I Trust and Love You), and 143444 (I Love You Very Much – count the letters on each word). Texting has created a whole new set of everyday vocabulary that non-Millennials like myself would Google to understand!
While becoming Textmates and Callmates gave a certain level of excitement for the younger generations, getting that sweet YES became easy as typing I-L-Y with thumb work speed. It may either mean I LIKE YOU or I LOVE YOU which seem to be taken on the same level. That is probably the reason why this love evolution had brought about both boon and bane effects towards the persons involved. Others find true love after a series of dates or ‘eyeballs’, some are not as lucky falling prey to deceitful individuals.
Back then, date nights were important. Even as adults, it was important to seek permission or ask for the blessings of parents and elders. Real gentlemen fetched the ladies from home and took them back before the clock struck twelve. Then dating became so loose and casual as to “Let’s Eyeball”, a risky decision to meet up with a textmate you hardly even know.
Fast forward, wanting to see someone these days does not require riding the MRT or booking a Grab ride. It is done as quickly as tapping video chat on any social media platform. Couples now enjoy an eternity of virtual togetherness, for as long as the internet signal remains stable.
There are many more ways that love and courtship may have shifted from one generation to the next. It may probably require more storytelling with lola, nanay, ate, kuya, totoy and baby to understand the evolution of Pinoy love. The truth remains that love in any language, puts us all together, never apart as one song goes. And for Pinoys and everyone else in the world, LOVE ALWAYS FINDS A WAY.